Sherlock One-Shots
by ThisMeatIsDefinitelyNotHuman
Summary: A variety of Sherlock one-shots including various ships, fluff, angst (probably not anything explicit). Open to prompts and requests.
1. Chapter 1 - Karaoke

'Mycroft, please.'

'No Gregory, I think I have made myself quite clear on this point.' Mycroft Holmes turned his back on his exasperated boyfriend.

'But Mycroft,' Greg pleaded, 'I've already told John and Sherlock that we're going.'

'Look Gregory, even if I had been considering going, telling me that John and Sherlock would be there would not have helped matters.' He flipped through the essay in front of him before continuing, 'quite the opposite in fact. Anyway, I have work to do.'

'Mycroft you always have work,' Greg sighed, running a hand through his messy brown hair. 'Can't you relax for one night? It's only karaoke for Christ's sake.'

Mycroft raised one eyebrow disdainfully. 'Gregory, when I'm older I fully intend to hold a powerful position in parliament and government officials do not partake in _karaoke.'_

Greg rolled his eyes and refrained from showing Mycroft the latest examples of just what government officials got up to. This was his last chance to persuade Mycroft to join him, John and Sherlock at the pub for karaoke night.

'Myc please?' Greg asked softly pressing his lips to his boyfriend's back. He felt Mycroft shiver and had to bite back a chuckle, this would be easier than he thought.

'Please?' he whined, moving gentle kisses up Mycroft's neck. He heard Mycroft's breathing speed up and grinned.

'Please?' he asked breathily for the final time.

'Gregory-' Mycroft moaned but Greg interrupted him, springing up and running to his bedroom in their shared apartment. 'Awesome! Be ready in ten minutes Myc!'

Mycroft groaned and buried his head in his hands, this could only end in disaster and jokes at his expense.

Twenty minutes later the two of them were trudging down the road to the pub, well Mycroft was trudging, Greg was bouncing like an excited puppy.

_Seriously_, Mycroft thought, _Greg could at least try and act his age. He's meant to be twenty for goodness sake_. Greg turned round to beam a smile at Mycroft and the man snorted; whatever Gregory did he was adorable.

'Hello brother, Lestrade,' Sherlock greeted them as they joined him at their table. John came over a few minutes later with four beers and slung his arm round Sherlock's shoulders, who blushed furiously.

'You alright, John?' Greg grinned.

'Not too bad,' John nodded back smiling, 'Course work's a pain in the arse but Sherlock prides himself on correcting my mistakes.'

Sherlock smiled smugly before realising that John had been mocking him and pouted.

'Lucky you,' Greg laughed, 'Mycroft seems to think that I won't learn anything if he tells me the answers.'

'Yes surprising that isn't it?' Mycroft quipped dryly.

Greg stuck out his tongue and rolled his eyes before jumping up and yelling, 'this is my song!'

Karaoke had started and the introduction to Green Day's _Jesus of Suburbia _was playing. Greg ran to the free microphone and started singing, receiving good natured cheers from the other pub goers.

When the song was over he jogged back to the table and slumped next to Mycroft looking flushed and happy.

'You have a wonderful voice Gregory,' Mycroft commented, making Greg blush and grin.

'Thanks,' he said. 'Now it's your turn.' He went to push his boyfriend towards the mic in time for the next song but Mycroft was determinedly remaining in his seat and despite Greg's most heart wrenching pleas refused to get up.

Other than that the evening progressed nicely and despite himself Mycroft started having a nice time. Greg, realising this, decided to ply Mycroft with a few more drinks than he would usually have in order to coax him to the karaoke machine.

Greg's planning finally paid off as _Ruby _by the Kaisercheifs came on. Mycroft leapt up, to John and Sherlock's shock and Greg's glee, and pulled his boyfriend towards the mic.

John stared at them, slack jawed and gaping as the serious and boring Mycroft Holmes danced around and sang his heart out, Greg laughing and singing at his side.

'John, your phone,' Sherlock hissed, breaking him from his trance.

'Sherlock, use your own,' John replied, his eyes still trained on the singing duo at the mic.

'I left it at the Halls and I need to use yours now!' Sherlock pleaded.

John sighed and handed his phone to Sherlock who grinned.

'What do you even need it for?' John asked, curious despite himself now that Sherlock was tapping buttons.

Sherlock winked at John and tapped the side of his nose before training the phone's camera on Mycroft.

'You're filming him?!' John exclaimed as Sherlock shushed him furiously. The genius then grinned and nodded.

'Mycroft will be sober by the morning,' he chuckled. 'He might not even remember this spectacular performance and that would be such a shame.' He wiped away a non-existent tear and turned back to the impromptu concert.

Mycroft cracked open his eyes and rubbed them furiously. He really shouldn't have drunk so much last night. His head was pounding as he turned to check the clock by his bed and he jumped as he realised he only had ten minutes to get to his lecture on American politics.

Five minutes later and he was rushing through the university's corridors to the lecture theatre. In his rush however, he noticed several amused glances being cast his way by some of Sherlock's acquaintances. _Oh what was that girl's name...? Sally, yes, Sally Donovan. Why was she looking at him like that? Oh never mind. _Mycroft banished the thoughts from his mind as he pushed into the theatre.

When he emerged from the lecture, his head swimming with information on the structure of the American government, Mycroft was pleasantly surprised to find Greg waiting for him.

'I thought you had a lecture now?' Mycroft asked as they began to walk back to their flat.

'Greg shrugged and mumbled, 'cancelled.'

'Are you alright Gregory?' Mycroft enquired. Greg was looking shifty and uncomfortable.

'Yeah, let's just get back to the flat alright?' Greg urged. Mycroft was about to reply when Sherlock's deep voice cut across the bustle of the corridor.

'Feeling alright after last night brother dear?'

Mycroft span to find Sherlock and John leaning against a wall, both looking extremely smug and pleased with themselves.

'What have you done?' Mycroft snapped as Greg pulled at his sleeve.

'Come on Myc, let's just go.' Gregory looked slightly ill so Mycroft turned to follow thinking he just wanted to lie down for a bit.

'Remember much about yesterday Mycroft?' Sherlock jibed again as Greg's friend Dimmock passed them.

'Hey Mycroft,' Dimmock grinned, 'Nice voice.' He winked and ran off as Greg hid his face in his hands.

'What's this about Sherlock?' Mycroft demanded, now thoroughly confused. He most definitely did not enjoy being out of the loop.

'Have a little watch brother,' Sherlock smirked, handing Mycroft John's phone. Mycroft pressed play on the video that was on the screen and watched, his jaw hanging lower and lower as the film progressed.

'It was quite a good performance, although not one of my favourite songs,' Sherlock commented dryly as John struggled in vain to hide his laughter.

'Don't you dare show anyone!' Mycroft snapped. 'Delete it right now.'

Sherlock chuckled as John said 'oops' with an air of fake innocence.

'I'm sorry Myc-' Greg began as Mycroft face palmed and Sherlock and John dissolved into laughter.

'How many people, Gregory?' Mycroft sighed.

Greg rubbed his neck, 'uh, as far as I know, Sherlock's forensics course, John's medical course and some of the blokes on the third year criminology course...'

Greg trailed off at the murderous look on Mycroft's face.

'Admittedly it wasn't Greg.' Sherlock managed to get out between his laughs. 'He actually tried to stop us, the spoilsport.'

'Yes I assumed as much,' Mycroft replied through gritted teeth.

Sherlock seemed oblivious to the amount of danger he was in. John on the other hand was not.

'Uh, I have a, uh, thing, that, um- bye!' and the medical student legged it down the hall and out of sight.

Mycroft slowly withdrew his extremely heavy politics text book and brought it crashing down on Sherlock's head. Sherlock gave a yelp of pain and surprise and stumbled down the hall, Mycroft running after him screaming like a maniac and trying to hit Sherlock again with his book.

Greg stared after them in exasperation and ran a hand through his hair. Then, sighing, he headed down the corridor. Someone would need to pull the irate Mycroft off Sherlock eventually.


	2. Chapter 2 - Pirates!

Crash. Bang. Thud.

'Avast yeh scoundrels. I be comin' to steal yeh treasure and there's nothing you can do about it! Aye me hearties, lock the captain in the brig!'

Sherlock span around, clutching his cardboard sword and pointed it at his older brother. 'That means you Mycroft. You can't be first mate if you can't follow simple instructions.'

Mycroft glared down at the six year old from where he was trying to complete some coursework.

'Sherlock, I have no wish to be your _first mate_ and the sooner you give up this little pirate fantasy the better. I thought you were supposed to be smart?'

'I am smart Mycroft!' Sherlock whined. 'I can tell that you had marmalade on toast for breakfast, bad idea if you ask me, plain toast is much less fattening.' Sherlock raised an eyebrow challengingly at his brother as he began to reel off his deductions. 'I know that you wore your new shoes yesterday because there's a red patch on the back of your heel, you haven't worn them in yet and from that I can deduce that you saw Gregory. He's the first _friend_ you've ever had and you wanted to impress him. Tut tut Mycroft, isn't it you who always says caring is a crippling disadvantage?'

Mycroft huffed in annoyance but Sherlock pushed on.

'I can also tell that mother does not know about your little _escapade_, maybe because she doesn't approve of Gregory, more likely that she doesn't like his father who works in a leather tanning factory, the smell is still faintly clinging to your trousers, the same trousers you wore yesterday as there are scuffs on the knees from where you jumped over the garden wall to avoid mother. Anyway, mother thinks he's not good enough for you to be friends with because she doesn't approve of his father's occupation and I have absolutely no qualms with informing mother of your dubious whereabouts yesterday unless you _agree to be my first mate._'

Sherlock smiled in triumph as Mycroft massaged his temples. In all honesty it was an easy victory. Maybe too easy…

Mycroft smirked making Sherlock squirm under his gaze.

'Fine, I'll play with you,' Mycroft said slowly, 'but only if I'm captain and _you're _first mate.'

'What makes you think I'll let you be captain? If you refuse to play with me I'll tell mummy about Gregory.'

'I know, brother mine, but if you tell mummy about Gregory, then I shall tell her about John.'

Sherlock stood stunned for a moment.

'You wouldn't dare…' he whispered, shocked.

'Oh wouldn't I?' Mycroft raised a cool calculating eyebrow. 'So I wouldn't tell mummy that you skipped school to show John round Scotland Yard? I don't even want to know how you got in there. Safe to say, mummy would not be happy.'

'How did you know we went to Scotland Yard?' Sherlock scowled at his teenage brother.

'I found Gregory's father's ID badge in your pocket,' he replied. 'You never could resist temptation, could you?'

'Fine,' Sherlock poked his tongue out, 'you can be captain.'

'Then your first job as first mate,' Mycroft announced, snatching Sherlock's sword, 'is to find your captain some cigarettes. Father has confiscated them again and I can't be bothered to go out and buy some more.'

'Aye, aye Captain,' Sherlock yelled, leaping out of Mycroft's bedroom and down the hallway. No measly cigarettes would escape the famous Sherlock Holmes!


End file.
